31 weeks- 33 weeks

When Baby#1 was 31 weeks old we went on holiday, staying in a cottage near Lyme Regis. There were 7 adults all together - the grandparents, 2 uncles, an auntie and us parents. Baby was fine during the day but, when we tried to put him to bed, the screaming started. It was often 9-10pm before he went off to sleep, he woke at least twice each night and was ready to start the day by 7am. I was exhausted- not much of a holiday!! I'd been adamant that my baby wasn't going to have a dummy but, in sheer desperation, we bought one.

This behaviour continued once we returned home, with loud screams every time I disappeared from view.

A sample day:

7am wakes

7.30 Breakfast

9am put him in garden in his pram but he screamed so loudly I had to bring him in again

He didn't sleep all morning

11.45 Lunch

Again I tried putting him in his pram for a sleep but he screamed and cried hysterically. Eventually walked round the estate, pushing the pram and he was lulled off to sleep. Slept for about an hour.

4pm Tea

5pm Bath

He went to sleep whilst having his bottle but woke an hour later, fully refreshed and ready to play!

At 9.30 he was taken out in the car where he fell asleep.

I can see that we made a rod for our own back here by assuming that the baby would be in bed typically by about 6pm. If he wasn't, we used to try desperately to get him to go to sleep. We'd have been better being much more relaxed about the whole bed-time thing.

At 8months Baby #1 showed no sign of crawling. Whilst sitting he is very secure, easily leaning forwards and sideways to pick up toys. He enjoys pulling everything out of his toy-box. He is using his thumb and forefinger together but the pincer movement is not quite mature enough to pick up really small things. He can roll over but his arms don't seem strong enough to support his weight for the crawling position.

He loves being held in standing position which doesn't do a great deal for our backs!

A week later and Baby #1 seems to established a more predictable routine. He has a long sleep (1-1.5 hours) each morning and another half hour in the afternoon. After his bottle at 7pm he is happy to go to bed. Sometimes wakes in the night but after a nappy change he settles quickly.

At 33 weeks baby#1 had his developmental tests. Hearing and sight are A1. He picked up a small bead and lego brick between thumb and forefinger. He supported his own weight and sits up alone. Weight 20.5 lbs. Length 67 cm

Baby #2 at this stage was still not sleeping through the night apart from occasional 12 hour spells which was heaven! We have screaming at bed-time which is very wearing. At 33 weeks baby#2 could sit up alone. Some days I noted that she was 'very fretful and cried every time I went out of sight'. Other days (often when we had visitors) she was 'as good as gold'.

Her big brother was a typical 2 year old by this time. He is usually good company and very entertaining. The things he says makes us chuckle. But he can be very negative too. Getting him dressed or changing his nappy is a major feat, usually involving a wrestling match. I decided to try to toilet train him when he was about 2 years + 2 months. Very little success. It meant lots of changes of clothes & wet carpets so I put it off for a while.

26 weeks to 30 weeks

At 26 weeks Baby #1 cut his 2nd tooth. He then seemed much happier and was content to play for longer periods. He also went straight to sleep at bed-time. I gradually changed the bottle from SMA (processed baby milk that came in powder form in large tins) to ordinary cow's milk. I diluted the milk with water (I didn't note the proportions in my diary) and brought it to the boil before leaving it to cool. The SMA milk is now just for bed-time in an 8oz bottle.

27 weeks Baby #1 becoming much more vocal, imitating sounds and actions. Is very happy and smiles a lot. But he has had another spell of hating bed-time. For several nights on the run we have taken turns in sitting with him until he goes off to sleep.

At 28 weeks he cut a 3rd tooth, a molar at the top. We took Baby #1 on holiday, first of all to his uncle's in Amersham and then to London to stay with grandparents. He was very good all the time we were away. Routine: wakes between 6 and 7 am Cereal and bottle of cow's milk for breakfast

Lunch at 12 Robinson's packet food (mixed with boiled water) eats about half a packet

Bottle of rose-hip syrup (diluted)

Tea 4pm Rusk to chew on /yoghurt, egg or cereal, bottle of milk

Bath about 5.30

Bed at 6pm full bottle of milk

I noted that baby #1 could sit up perfectly without any support. He sits in his car seat well and enjoys travelling in it.

He still has a sleep after breakfast (about 30-45 mins) and another nap of about 30 mins after lunch.

The crunch came at 30 weeks when, after several weeks of comparative calm, his sleeping pattern went hay-wire. He was hardly sleeping during the day and actively objected when put down for a sleep. It co-incided with his 4th tooth coming through. "Bed-time is fraught. He screams and becomes really upset when we try to put him to bed. But, as soon as we bring him downstairs. he is smiling and wants to play."

At the same stage (26 weeks), Baby #2 "settles well at 6pm when she's put to bed but, after about an hour, she is awake again and is laughing and playful until 10-11 pm. She does then sleep all night till about 7am so I suppose I should be grateful. She eats 3 meals a day plus a bottle at bed-time. She can roll over and is quite mobile. It doesn't take her long to roll right across the room. This still takes me by surprise!"

29 weeks After a run of 4 - 5 nights of dreadful evenings where she was crying and fretful till 9-10pm, I found she had cut two teeth at once!! No wonder she was upset!

30 weeks Baby #2 has 'been driving us wild for about 2 weeks now. She has very restless evenings when she usually ends up being brought downstairs and is finally lulled to sleep about 10pm. She then often wakes once or twice in the night and by 5-6am she decides she's had enough sleep and it's time to get up. We had got used to this routine but, for a week or more, she has been crying a lot during the day. She is at the "Mummy only" stage so every time I disappear from view she screams. Because I have inevitably been giving baby #2 lots of attention, toddler brother is reacting by being very aggressive towards his baby sister. Today he's been throwing his toy cars at her and he's been hanging on to my legs and whining. It must be very frustrating for him as baby#2 is more mobile and interrupts his play. He likes to line up all his toy cars and she rolls across and messes them up! Also he must be losing sleep because baby #2 is crying at night.

In desperation I took baby#2 to the clinic. The Health Visitor says she must be "one of those babies"- the ones who don't need much sleep, are "difficult to rear" but are "usually very intelligent and extrovert in character". I wrote in my diary that it will be interesting to see if her forecast is correct!

I am advised to take baby to see the G.P. for a check-up. I suspect he'll find nothing wrong and just advocate dosing baby with Phenergan.

Phenergan...............advertised as an anti-histamine with sedative effects. The elixir was prescribed by doctors as a sleep aid. But actually it was not recommended for under 2s.

I look back and wonder why I resorted to sedating both children. There was really nothing wrong with either. It was just my obsession with bed-time at 6pm when if they'd had a meal with us and gone to bed later I could have saved myself a lot of anguish.

20-25 weeks

From my diary "I thought we were doing well- baby #1 had started to have more sleep (and at night!) but at 21 weeks we had several disturbed nights and fretful days. He wasn't very interested in food and dribbled endlessly. Then today we found he had his first tooth.

Between 21 and 24 weeks baby #1 was very unsettled. He was fretful during the day and needed constant nursing. "Had difficulty settling him at night and he woke several times each night too. He has a snuffly cold and a rasping cough which keeps him awake. At 6 months I gave up breast-feeding completely. His food intake:

between 7-8 breakfast Baby Cereal + 5 oz bottle of SMA milk

12-1 lunch Full tin of Heinz dinner + dessert (half a small yoghurt or half a banana) Drink of orange juice

4-5 Tea baby rice, or Heinz tin or rusk + 3 oz bottle

Bath about 6pm Bedtime 8pm 8oz bottle

At 25 weeks baby #1 had his first triple injection against diptheria, whooping cough and tetanus

The injection left a hard red lump on his arm. He seemed very fretful and he was sick twice during the afternoon (unusual these days) . He whined for most of the afternoon.

Baby #2 at the same age (21 weeks +) was subjected to change as we moved house. This seemed to affect her sleeping. We would get her ready for bed about 6pm and she would settle well, sleep for about an hour and then be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed until 10-11pm. Meanwhile toddler brother (aged 22 months)had started to become rather faddy about his food. Some days he hardly seemed to eat anything. His talking was advanced with complicated sentences. He could be very negative however and getting him dressed or changing his nappy often involved mini-wrestling matches!

Vaccinations

One of the big changes that has taken place since my children were small is the time at which vaccinations are given. I understand that in the UK, at the present time, the first triple injection against Diptheria, Whooping Cough, Tetanus plus polio and Hib (meningitis) is given at 2 months. Daughter in Amsterdam was advised to have Milo immunised at 6 weeks and, because they are likely to be moving house around then, to bring it forward to 4 weeks. This seems very young and, as she is breast-feeding, the baby is likely to have all the antibodies he needs.

Checking my diary I find that Baby#1 had his 1st triple Diptheria, whooping cough and tetanus only when he was the grand old age of 25 weeks (6 months) with the 2nd triple + polio immunisation at 34 weeks and the 3rd triple + polio at 13.5 months. He had his measles immunisation at 15 months.

Baby #2 had her 1st triple injection at age 4 months, 2nd triple + polio at 6 months and 3rd triple + polio the day after her 1st birthday. The measles immunisation wasn't until she was 14 months.

The only childhood illnesses that both children had were mild German measles and chickenpox.

12-18 weeks

Baby # 2's erratic behaviour continued and I was so worn out with frequent breast-feeding that I decided to try her on Farex baby cereal for a few days. The extra food seemed to do the trick. She seemed much happier and slept well. But...... it didn't last for long. Back to the screaming baby!

Baby #1 (a 21 month old by now) also started 'playing up'. My diary records "He has a high-pitched scream which he uses to compete with his baby sister; he is 'downright disobedient and VERY prone to tantrums.'

Baby # 2 was baptised wearing a beautiful christening robe that one of my kind neighbours lent me. I panicked all morning that everything wouldn't be ready in time (I was having about 15 people back at the house after the christening) Baby was good whilst the baptism took place. It was toddler big brother who caused mayhem in the church.... as we stepped up to the font he tried to push the flower arrangement into the water. When I restrained him he fell on the floor in a tantrum! Fortunately my sister was on hand to rush him out of the door!

At 14 weeks Baby # 2 was getting more predicatable. Her day went something like this:

6.30-7am breast feed I get brother dressed and we have our breakfast. I give baby #1 some Farex cereal and she sits in reclining cradle whilst i wash up. Short nap in pram (about 20 mins)

wakeful till about 11am

11-11.30 Breastfeed Sleeps until 2pm

2-2.30pm Strained food for lunch topped up with breast feed

5-6pm Milupa cereal + breastfeed

Bath and bed by 7pm

2-3 am Wakes for feed then straight back to sleep (I have written 'usually'

15 weeks I am having a fraught time with Baby#2. She cries, well screams really, for what seems like most of the time. She hardly sleeps during the day and is not settled at all. She is not easily entertained either by 1:1 contact or by watching her brother play. I am 'getting very depressed'. The broken nights are piling up and I feel constantly tired &, as a consequence, very irritable. It doesn't help that we are having problems with the house purchase and I get bombarded with phone calls whilst baby #2 screams from her pram. The solicitor remarked today that 'every time I ring I can hear a baby yelling in the background'. Yep, that was about right! (We were trying to move house as, once I gave up work, we found it difficult to pay the mortgage and the crunch came when the mortgage rate went up to 15% (yes, FIFTEEN PER CENT).

16 weeks I phoned the Health Visitor in sheer desperation. The first things she suggested like giving Liga Rusks and baby rice with day-time feeds and moving baby into her own room did not really change anything. She seems to be starving hungry all the time. She now suggests changing to bottle feeding for the mid-day feed. I'll try anything, I'm so desperate!

17 weeks The Bottle feeding was hopeless at first. She spat out the teat, obviously hated the texture. After a few days though she began to get used to it. The weekend seemed much more settled and husband was able to take over to give me a break.

Awake about 6.30 Breastfeed

8am Liga rusk in milk Breastfeed

12-1 Robinson's or Heinz dinner (about 2 tablespoons) followed by 4oz bottle

4-5 Baby rice or Milupa dessert 7 oz bottle

Bed time about 7pm Breastfeed

At least baby #2 is good at settling in the evening (we used to have trouble with big brother). She sleeps from about 7pm till 1-2am sometimes longer

19 weeks Baby #2 is back to being restless. Had a particularly bad day when she only slept half an hour between 6.30am and 7.30pm

She isn't happy whilst she's awake. She struggles and cries. She is still not eating much solid food but is putting on weight steadily nevertheless.

With hindsight I can see that she was probably in pain. Now that I work in a chiropractic clinic where babies with chronic sleeplessness come for treatment, I can see that the reason she was so restless and unsettled was that she needed some adjustments to help her feed more efficiently. When she was born I would describe her as a 'stiff little baby'. A friend who came to see me in hospital remarked on picking her up that she was 'very tense'. Her back seemed arched backwards and she was never a baby that snuggled.

Looking back at Baby #1 at the same period.... we had similar problems.

12 weeks Suddenly became 'very fretful' Wore me out with his crying. Sucking his fists so I decided he was very hungry. After reading all the 'baby books' I decided to start 'mixed feeding'.

(N.B. My bibles for baby care were Dr Spock, Penelope Leach and Miriam Stoppard)

Day 1 gave him a teaspoon or two of Robinson's baby dinner (liver). Seemed to quite like it although he hasn't quite got the hang of eating from a spoon (his tongue gets in the way).

Dropped the 10pm feed as he never wakens for it. he slept through till 6am

Lots of dark hair (baby #1 had lots of hair at birth- the midwives called him 'lavatory brush'- very cruel!)

Now enjoys 'playing'- being bounced up and down on my lap mainly!

13 weeks weighs 10lbs 14 oz so exactly 2 lbs more than his birth weight.

14 weeks Eating more 'solids' Has baby rice before 10am feed; baby dinner before 2pm feed. and Milupa Fruit Mix before 6pm feed. Also has 6oz of milk after breastfeed at 6pm

Has had a 'snuffly' old which has woken him at night.

16 weeks Large weight increase (14 ozs in 2 weeks). Looking at the above feeding schedule I am not surprised! Baby #1 now has a wakeful period at 6pm He got very upset when we tried to out him in his cot so we started letting him stay up until he seems ready for sleep. Could be 8pm or 9pm. With hindsight, I was somewhat brain-washed into thinking that babies had to be 'in bed' by 6pm. This came from my mother whose baby rearing had been influenced by Truby King whose strict methods included feeding every 4 hours and baby in own cot in own room from Day 1. The 6pm bedtime fitted into the 4 hour slots of each day, in theory.

Baby #1 holds his rattle for much longer periods and looks at things in his hands. Tries to strain forwards from a reclining position . When lying on his tummy he can raise his head quite high.

14-16 weeks weaned from breast to bottle for 2pm feed. I planned to change 10am feed too after a couple of weeks.

6am Breastfeed

10am baby rice and breastfeed

2pm Heinz or Robinson's baby dinner + 7oz bottle

4.30pm Milupa fruit dessert and breastfeed

6-7pm after bath 7oz bottle

Later that week (week 16) changed round 4.30 and 6 pm feeds so that breastfeed came last. Baby seems to settle better.

17 weeks Changed again. Wakes during the night. One particular night he was very fretful and both of us took turns to walk up and down. Was 9pm before he settled down, awake at 1am, 4am and 8am. Was as good as gold the next day though. I wondered whether he was starting teething as he keeps fingering his gums. Now weaning him off his 10am feed on to bottle.

18 weeks A different routine again! More settled with a long sleep (2-3 hours) in the morning and sleeps from 8pm to 7am at night.

Breastfeed on waking

8-8.30 2 tbsp rice Drink of fruit juice

12-12.30 half a tin of Heinz dinner 2 teasp of dessert 7oz bottle

4-4.30 Milupa dessert 4 oz bottle

6.30-7 Breastfeed with top-up bottle (2-3 oz)

Can now work his way around on the floor by swinging his legs and wriggling his back

Can roll from back onto front

Once on his tummy, unless his arm is imprisoned, he can raise his head high and scrabble with his feet

19 weeks We were on holiday in Somerset in a rented cottage. The weather was very warm and a number of factors seemed to affect baby's sleep pattern- too hot, wasn't eating much solid food and change of environment. During the day he was no trouble. He slept on the journey there and back, just waking for feeds. We visited several historic houses and he was as good as gold. But the evenings were a trial. He wouldn't settle and was ready to start the day at 4am!

8-8.30